Allieiswired.com is reporting that Khloe is going to make a masturbation sex-tape for her husband to “take on the road” (he’s an athlete). This is going to fail:
1. He’s an athlete, chances are he is already cheating on you…and if he’s not…
2. He is going to show his friends your tape…and they may…
3. Post it on the Internet…but even if they don’t
4. Your marriage is likely not going to last, and it’s going to get out anyway because he’ll be mad at you or looking to make a few bucks.
Bad idea.
Look, I know what it’s like to be crazy, sexy in love….but I use mirrors. It’s like a sex tape but you don’t have a record of it when your done, and nobody can take it anywhere.
…even if it looked like this? To my horror, I found out reading Wikipedia (stop laughing) that Alison Brie from MadMen, used to make a living being a clown at children’s birthday parties.
No matter how good they look…there is always the risk you’ll wake up in the morning, or open your eyes in the peak of bliss, only to see a white-faced, red-curly-wigged, painted-smiley-face looking back at you.
Oh Alison Brie, how you taunt me.
Ever go to the doctor and they ask you the round of questions about your birth control methods and whether you could be pregnant? I like this person’s take:
courtesy of failblog.org
Her boyfriend treats *this* like a sister?
Charlize Theron has called it off with her boyfriend of 9 years, Stuart Townsend. According to the Daily Mail, she ended the relationship after they “had become more like brother and sister than lovers.”
Stuart Townsend is officially the lamest man on earth. You can’t sex it up for your girlfriend if she’s CHARLIZE THERON? Email me Charlize…I promise you won’t feel like a sibling anymore.
Go and Eat Pork!!!
According to Sky News, Argentine President Cristina Fernandez said that barbequed pork is responsible for she and her husband getting some good action over the weekend.
“Eating pork improves your sex life. I’d say it’s a lot nicer to eat a bit of grilled pork than take Viagra.” she said in a speech to the leaders of Argentina’s pig farming industry.
“And let me tell you, I am a big fan of pork meat, and I am not just saying that to look good here.”
Um…it doesn’t make you “look good” Christina, it makes you look weird. But hey, I’m all for the President getting her freak on…even if it involves meat with sauce.
I’ll take a rack of ribs, please. (what harm could it do?)
An oldie but goodie…it seems someone else finally shares my opinion of Jessica Simpson.
This is the product:
This is all I can think about:
pic from jezebel.com
I’m not one to critique Mac (after all, I do love mine…unnaturally so), but come on folks – who named this?
don’t always take good pictures. Here are the sisters at the Bravo Awards. Why does the one in the middle seem like a monster in this shot?
